Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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