I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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