Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
