So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
