so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
