but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
