just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
is it fun? or sober?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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