pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
