I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
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You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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