In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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