So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
