She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
