I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
