$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize