I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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