kristin has been a bad kristin
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
