He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i don't like sucking hair
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
