worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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