im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
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She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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