At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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