After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also, beer. Big fan.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize