just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
