Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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