Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize