I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
