Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Two words: nipple clamps
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