i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This baby is an asshole
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
