it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
