singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
