Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
