STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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