She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
