Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
