It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
please come you make the beer taste better
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Everclear isn't food dammit
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
