He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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