well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
