I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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