I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
