worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize