is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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