Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
