'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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