Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
