i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
