I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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