wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
