woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
