I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
