Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
