cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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