they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
