You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
