Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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