dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
