There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
