I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
