i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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