The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
