i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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