Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
