Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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