it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
