The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Even my vagina gasped.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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